I've found that the bigger my blog has become, the less personal it is. Sometimes it's difficult to share your secrets with so many strangers--whether or not it is through a computer screen. I'm struggling with my future plans and I can honestly say that I have too many options right now. As a senior in college, everyone seems to have advice for me. Some of this advice is good while some is overbearing and unnecessary. I'm at a point in my life where I need to listen to myself rather than follow the plan set forth for me by my friends, parents, and well-meaning strangers. As odd as it may seem, by forging my own path I often feel as though I'm disappointing the people around me. It is not often that you find someone so determined to listen to their heart. I'm afraid of making the wrong decision and somehow finding myself "stuck. Stuck in a meaningless job or relationship. Stuck in my hometown or a strange city. Stuck with personality flaws.
So my remedy to these fears? Apparently my heart wants to solve all of my problems by dreaming of foreign places--Effiel towers, sandy beaches, crowded markets, and old brick buildings. I dream of cobblestone streets, historic monuments, and classic art. I dream of a place where I don't know anyone and cannot speak the language. I dream of fine food with names that I cannot pronounce and I dream of the adventure that is generally accompanied by a bit of loneliness. I never used to be a dreamer. My whole life I have been proud of the fact that I am a realist. But now that life is becoming a bit too "real" for me, my dreams are pushing their way back to the surface. If I let them win, I'd be on a plane tomorrow with my single suitcase in hand.